The Legacy to my Girls

One of the reasons that helped to shape my decision to go with sisterlocks is that I have two daughters, aged 9 and 7, who emulate everything that I do, and like sponges they soak up everything around them. I want them to recognize that there are options for lovely hairstyles, which do not involve chemically altering their hair.

They are heavily influenced by what they see on television. And the television programming that the watch is mostly American. I became painfully aware some time ago that they longed to have long, straight hair like the little girls that they see on Nickelodeon and The Disney Channel.

I have been on a campaign to constantly reinforce the fact that their long, thick, Afro-Caribbean hair is very beautiful. I make a big deal about getting their hair done up in two-stranded twists. Jodie is the lady who does their hair. She comes to the house and the girls get comfortable with a computer game or a TV show or whatever strikes their fancy. Under Jodie’s care, their hair has really flourished. They get many compliments on their hair, and Jodie has gotten many referrals from me to other moms with little girls. I think my babies are now beginning to realize that they really do have beautiful hair, just as God gave them.

My 9 year old has beautiful red-brown hair, which glistens in the sunlight. She has never really enjoyed her hair colour because it is different from the average hair colour. You know how kids are; they never want to look any different from their friends. I have to keep on reminding her that many women spend lots of money at the salon to get that lovely colour.

In the same vein, my 7 year old has exotic hazel coloured eyes. She tells me that she doesn’t like her eyes. I know the reason that she says this is that her eyes make her different, and they draw attention to her, which makes her uncomfortable.

My girls are both aware that I am growing my hair so that I can get sisterlocks done. And they are excited. They observe me as I search the internet, looking at pictures and getting as much information as possible. In fact, my 9 year old asked me if she can get sisterlocks when she is older. Now, if that isn’t progress I don’t know what is.

We as women, regardless of colour or ethnic background, tend to be so very dissatisfied with our hair. Those of us with straight hair want curls, those of us with curls want straight hair. Those of us with thin hair, put in extensions to make it thicker, and those with thick hair……well you get the picture.

I am encouraged and so grateful that there is a sisterhood that encourages all of us to embrace our natural selves. We need to ensure that we are not passing any of the old negative values about our appearance on to our kids.

More Anon.

Marching to the beat of my own drum

After twenty-plus years of having my hair relaxed, I decided that enough was enough. After my second child was born in 2001, I noticed significant thinning and shedding of my hair. I chalked it up to the usual shedding associated with childbirth, but what struck me, is that my hair never regained its normal thickness, and I was getting a bald patch on the top of my head and my hairline seemed to be receding. This worried me enough to pay a visit to my dermatologist. She recommended a medication that I could not take at the time, because I was breast feeding.

I didn't really stress about it for a while, since I was not about to relinquish the joy of breastfeeding, just for the sake of my hair. I used creative hairstyling to cover up the thinning patches. I tried cornrowing my own relaxed hair. This just looked terrible because my hair was so thin. Then once or twice I tried cornrowing with added-in synthetic hair. I really hated this look on me and I just didn't feel good about wearing fake hair. And the removal of the cornrows with the added-in hair really ripped up and pulled out my own hair. I was horrified at how much of my own hair I lost as a result of this.

In November 2006 I went back to the dermatologist. She diagnosed me with alopecia, and suggested that I try Rogaine for Women. I did, and it has helped in growing back the hair in the thin areas. My mom has Alopecia, and it probably runs in my family, but even so, I was convinced that the years of relaxing my hair was taking a toll.

For a long time I had been wanting to cut off all my relaxed hair and just wear it in a short afro. However, this takes an enormous amount of courage, which took me years to find. I come from a family where all my men love long hair. I knew that if I cut off my hair, I would have to listen to all of the disapproval and I would have to endure all of the bad vibes. One day in February 2007, I finally found the courage. I got it all chopped off. See the picture above which was taken a few weeks after the big chop.

The feeling of liberation that I felt is hard to describe. I felt free from being forced to spend hours upon hours at the salon getting my hair relaxed. I felt free from the hours that it took to wash, roller set, dry and style my hair. After the big chop, I would wash my hair everyday just for the hell of it. Just for the sheer pleasure that it gave me to know that I could wash, dry and comb my hair in ten minutes, and look still look fabulous.

My husband was in shock when he saw that all of my hair was gone. My father was not too happy either. My brother was ok with it. He is very cool about these things. In fact his wife has beautiful sisterlocks. But it was my best male friend who gave me the most support and reassurance that my hair looked great. He was the only one who truly recognized the very bold step that I had taken and what it meant to me to defy all expectations and just embrace my natural self. I will be forever grateful to him for his support during this time when I was unsure of how I looked.

I have really been enjoying my short hair for all this time, and I have a great barber who really knows her stuff. However, since August 2008 I have started missing my long hair. And I started to get a little bit bored with the same hairstyle which, even though it looks great, has absolutely no versatility.

And so my search began......

As I mentioned, my sister-in-law has sisterlocks, but this is not something that I had ever considered for myself. Until now. I did my research online and came upon the sisterlocks website and many other links and personal blogs. I was definitely intrigued. After weeks and weeks of research, I finally made the decision to get sisterlocks.

Now, if you think that cutting off my hair created a stir in the family, just wait until they see me with locks. Lawd have mercy, give me strength!! My beloved father died earlier this year, but I am sure I will still hear his comments on this ringing in my head. My mom was not at all pleased when I told her that this is what I am going to do. My dear hubby has resigned himself. He at least has the grace to realize that despite his opinions, I am going to do what I want with my hair. I have shared with him the pictures that I have seen, and he has liked most of them. Do I hear progress? Just kidding. I am sure he will be fine with the sisterlocks. But it has been the unflagging support of my male friend that has given me the most courage to take this next step in my hair journey.

I made contact with a fellow Jamaican sisterlocked sister, N'Drea, and she put me onto her sisterlocks consultant. I am in the process of growing out my afro and I will need a few more weeks to get the minimum length of about 2.5 inches before I can get my sisterlocks installed. The front of my hair is about 2.5 inches long now, but the back is still too short. I am taking my vitamins, and I am really nursing my hair now, just to encourage it to grow faster and grow strong and healthy.

I am very excited by my decision. I am also proud that I have been able to come to this point on my own and make this very bold step. You have to understand the parts of the Jamaican culture which abhors locks, or anything which could possibly be associated with the rastafarian lifestyle, to truly understand just how bold a step this is.

Anyway, here I am. Stay posted for the next step.