Waiting to Exhale

Well, I finally did it. I called Curlylocks and made an appointment for her to come and install my sisterlocks. November 28, 2008 is the big day. I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. She told me that it will take two days to do my hair, so I have applied for the day off on the 28th. She will finish it up on the following day. I have already asked my DH to step in and do the school pickup on Friday and the dance class drop off on Saturday. All the logistics have been taken care of and I am ready.

As I mentioned before, she put in three sets of test locks. One set is doing much better than the other two. The set that is doing well looks neat, and is not unraveling. The other two sets look "tortured" and seem to be fighting to come undone. They don't lie down well and are unraveling like crazy. It will be interesting to see which lock pattern she will choose for my installation. I am guessing it will be the pattern that is behaving nicely.

Since the test locks were put in last weekend, I have washed my hair once. I banded up the ends of the locks with small elastic bands and washed my hair gently. I am imagining that this process is going to be tedious when I have a head full of these tiny locks. A few nights ago I put my little locks in soft spike curlers, and they looked rather cute the next day. I am clearly having fun with my hair right now and I think I am getting over my anxiety about what my short hair will look like in sisterlocks.

Just three more weeks to go!!

Consultation and Test Locks

Well today was the day for my consultation. I got up earlier than usual since Curlylocks (this is N'Drea's name for her) was coming at 9am. I got the family organized with breakfast and the usual Saturday morning business, so that when she came, I would not be distracted by anything.

I really like Curlylocks. She is very sweet and down to earth. We talked about the sisterlocks process, and we talked about my hair in particular. I was worried that my hair is not long enough to start, but she wasn't worried about this at all. In fact, she said she has worked with shorter hair than mine. After a bit of talking, she got right down to it. She put in about fifteen test locks, in different sisterlocks patterns, in different sections of my head. I will keep these in for at least two weeks, then she will come back and do the full installation. She told me how to care for them when washing, by banding them up with elastics and gently washing the scalp.

When I examined the teeny little baby locks, I became a little bit apprehensive about my whole head being covered in these. I cannot quite picture it, but I am imagining that it is not going to be too cute at first. In the meantime, I will have to do some creative combing to cover them up and let them blend in with the rest of my hair until it is all fully done. Wish me luck.

Appointment Made for Consultation

After a really nice chat with my buddy N'Drea, who is always so positive and encouraging, I decided to call the locktician and make an appointment for my first consultation. We meet on Saturday morning. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I am not sure if my hair is long enough for locking yet. Here is a picture of my length now.

The Legacy to my Girls

One of the reasons that helped to shape my decision to go with sisterlocks is that I have two daughters, aged 9 and 7, who emulate everything that I do, and like sponges they soak up everything around them. I want them to recognize that there are options for lovely hairstyles, which do not involve chemically altering their hair.

They are heavily influenced by what they see on television. And the television programming that the watch is mostly American. I became painfully aware some time ago that they longed to have long, straight hair like the little girls that they see on Nickelodeon and The Disney Channel.

I have been on a campaign to constantly reinforce the fact that their long, thick, Afro-Caribbean hair is very beautiful. I make a big deal about getting their hair done up in two-stranded twists. Jodie is the lady who does their hair. She comes to the house and the girls get comfortable with a computer game or a TV show or whatever strikes their fancy. Under Jodie’s care, their hair has really flourished. They get many compliments on their hair, and Jodie has gotten many referrals from me to other moms with little girls. I think my babies are now beginning to realize that they really do have beautiful hair, just as God gave them.

My 9 year old has beautiful red-brown hair, which glistens in the sunlight. She has never really enjoyed her hair colour because it is different from the average hair colour. You know how kids are; they never want to look any different from their friends. I have to keep on reminding her that many women spend lots of money at the salon to get that lovely colour.

In the same vein, my 7 year old has exotic hazel coloured eyes. She tells me that she doesn’t like her eyes. I know the reason that she says this is that her eyes make her different, and they draw attention to her, which makes her uncomfortable.

My girls are both aware that I am growing my hair so that I can get sisterlocks done. And they are excited. They observe me as I search the internet, looking at pictures and getting as much information as possible. In fact, my 9 year old asked me if she can get sisterlocks when she is older. Now, if that isn’t progress I don’t know what is.

We as women, regardless of colour or ethnic background, tend to be so very dissatisfied with our hair. Those of us with straight hair want curls, those of us with curls want straight hair. Those of us with thin hair, put in extensions to make it thicker, and those with thick hair……well you get the picture.

I am encouraged and so grateful that there is a sisterhood that encourages all of us to embrace our natural selves. We need to ensure that we are not passing any of the old negative values about our appearance on to our kids.

More Anon.

Am I becoming hair obsessed?

Well today, being a particularly relaxed Saturday, I had the time to notice that my hands have not left my hair all day. Gasp! My hair has grown long enough now, that I can bury my fingers in it, and it actually feels good. It is so nice to rediscover my natural texture. The texture on the top of my head is quite different from the texture at the back and sides. Running my fingers through the thick, thick hair at the back of my head reminds me of the days when I was little and I much preferred playing outside with the neighbour kids, rather than having to come inside for my hair to be combed. It was quite the ordeal for both my mom and me, when she had to comb through my thick hair. However, now that I am dying for my sisterlocks to be installed, the thicker and more "difficult" the hair, the better. Will you look at that. We have truly come full circle. Thank you Dr. Cornwell.

Patience

Patience is one of those virtues that we have to relearn time and time again throughout the course of life, I believe. I am now going through that learning process again, as I am anxiously waiting for my hair to grow long enough to get my sisterlocks installed.

It is somewhat ironic that when I was maintaining my teeny weeny afro, my hair seemed to grow like a weed and I had to go to the barber every three or four weeks to get it trimmed. Now that I really want it to grow, it seems that it is not growing fast enough. Here is a picture showing my length now.It is a bit longer than it appears, because I really pat it down to make it neater.

I patiently twist my hair into Chiney Bumps every night. Chiney Bumps is the Jamaican name for what everyone else calls Bantu Knots or Nubian Knots. When I first came across these fancy names, I almost fell off my chair laughing. Dat is wat dem a call Chiney Bump now? Hilarious. Anyway, this is part of my nightly routine now, as I nurture my hair. The thinking behind this, is that the twisting will help to preserve the moisture, while giving my hair a little bit of curl. I have heard many experts saying that you should sleep with a silk scarf on your head, or sleep on a satin pillow case, but I have always found it hard to sleep with a head scarf. I usually find the scarf on the floor in the morning, or worse, covering my nose in the middle of the night. Sometimes I will wrap my pillow in a silk scarf, since yours truly does not own a satin pillow case, nor am I ever likely to own one.

And so my lesson in patience continues........

Marching to the beat of my own drum

After twenty-plus years of having my hair relaxed, I decided that enough was enough. After my second child was born in 2001, I noticed significant thinning and shedding of my hair. I chalked it up to the usual shedding associated with childbirth, but what struck me, is that my hair never regained its normal thickness, and I was getting a bald patch on the top of my head and my hairline seemed to be receding. This worried me enough to pay a visit to my dermatologist. She recommended a medication that I could not take at the time, because I was breast feeding.

I didn't really stress about it for a while, since I was not about to relinquish the joy of breastfeeding, just for the sake of my hair. I used creative hairstyling to cover up the thinning patches. I tried cornrowing my own relaxed hair. This just looked terrible because my hair was so thin. Then once or twice I tried cornrowing with added-in synthetic hair. I really hated this look on me and I just didn't feel good about wearing fake hair. And the removal of the cornrows with the added-in hair really ripped up and pulled out my own hair. I was horrified at how much of my own hair I lost as a result of this.

In November 2006 I went back to the dermatologist. She diagnosed me with alopecia, and suggested that I try Rogaine for Women. I did, and it has helped in growing back the hair in the thin areas. My mom has Alopecia, and it probably runs in my family, but even so, I was convinced that the years of relaxing my hair was taking a toll.

For a long time I had been wanting to cut off all my relaxed hair and just wear it in a short afro. However, this takes an enormous amount of courage, which took me years to find. I come from a family where all my men love long hair. I knew that if I cut off my hair, I would have to listen to all of the disapproval and I would have to endure all of the bad vibes. One day in February 2007, I finally found the courage. I got it all chopped off. See the picture above which was taken a few weeks after the big chop.

The feeling of liberation that I felt is hard to describe. I felt free from being forced to spend hours upon hours at the salon getting my hair relaxed. I felt free from the hours that it took to wash, roller set, dry and style my hair. After the big chop, I would wash my hair everyday just for the hell of it. Just for the sheer pleasure that it gave me to know that I could wash, dry and comb my hair in ten minutes, and look still look fabulous.

My husband was in shock when he saw that all of my hair was gone. My father was not too happy either. My brother was ok with it. He is very cool about these things. In fact his wife has beautiful sisterlocks. But it was my best male friend who gave me the most support and reassurance that my hair looked great. He was the only one who truly recognized the very bold step that I had taken and what it meant to me to defy all expectations and just embrace my natural self. I will be forever grateful to him for his support during this time when I was unsure of how I looked.

I have really been enjoying my short hair for all this time, and I have a great barber who really knows her stuff. However, since August 2008 I have started missing my long hair. And I started to get a little bit bored with the same hairstyle which, even though it looks great, has absolutely no versatility.

And so my search began......

As I mentioned, my sister-in-law has sisterlocks, but this is not something that I had ever considered for myself. Until now. I did my research online and came upon the sisterlocks website and many other links and personal blogs. I was definitely intrigued. After weeks and weeks of research, I finally made the decision to get sisterlocks.

Now, if you think that cutting off my hair created a stir in the family, just wait until they see me with locks. Lawd have mercy, give me strength!! My beloved father died earlier this year, but I am sure I will still hear his comments on this ringing in my head. My mom was not at all pleased when I told her that this is what I am going to do. My dear hubby has resigned himself. He at least has the grace to realize that despite his opinions, I am going to do what I want with my hair. I have shared with him the pictures that I have seen, and he has liked most of them. Do I hear progress? Just kidding. I am sure he will be fine with the sisterlocks. But it has been the unflagging support of my male friend that has given me the most courage to take this next step in my hair journey.

I made contact with a fellow Jamaican sisterlocked sister, N'Drea, and she put me onto her sisterlocks consultant. I am in the process of growing out my afro and I will need a few more weeks to get the minimum length of about 2.5 inches before I can get my sisterlocks installed. The front of my hair is about 2.5 inches long now, but the back is still too short. I am taking my vitamins, and I am really nursing my hair now, just to encourage it to grow faster and grow strong and healthy.

I am very excited by my decision. I am also proud that I have been able to come to this point on my own and make this very bold step. You have to understand the parts of the Jamaican culture which abhors locks, or anything which could possibly be associated with the rastafarian lifestyle, to truly understand just how bold a step this is.

Anyway, here I am. Stay posted for the next step.